Monday, October 22, 2007

Fuck.

I couldn't think of a more appropriate title for this post. So sorry to any of you that are offended by that kind of language.

So yes, bad news. No heartbeat. Gestational and yolk sac measuring only six weeks. Fuck. Same as last time. Only now this suggests a reoccurring problem, not just a fluke.

I am dealing. I am going for lunch and to day drink. I think I'm taking a few days off work.

They will wait for my period or induce it. Then testing for clotting issues is the next step. Yay! I get to enter recurrent pg loss testing. Great.

Fuck.

It's over. The hope, it's over, only to be replaced by bitterness. I am angry, Clark asked me who at and I'm not sure yet.

29 comments:

Kate said...

I am so, so sorry.

Fertilize Me said...

FUCK! ................ Hope, good grief..I am so sorry

Anonymous said...

There are no words to convey my sadness for your loss. Having had six losses myself, I know there are no words that can help you to feel better at this moment.

I think it is a good idea for you to take some time off from work and allow yourself to grieve. Take good care of yourself.

I am a fellow blogger, posting anonymously due to computer difficulties. If you want to check me out, I am at

takingthestatisticalbullet.blogspot.com

-Katie

Mommy Someday said...

I am so sorry! My miscarriage was the same...No scan until 7w5d...baby stopped growing around 6w5d...saw fetal pole and yolk sac and nothing else. I started bleeding the next day (7w6d) and miscarried on my own. It SUCKS!!!!!!!!! And my doctors won't do any testing until I have another miscarriage!!! I truely hope you learn something from the additional testing. Miscarriages are one of the WORST things that we women have to endure.

Jendeis said...

Just sucks. I'm sorry.

Tracy said...

I am so sorry...

Amanda said...

I am so sorry. This really really sucks.

LJ said...

I am so sorry, I wish I could give you a huge hug. There are no words to soothe, only time.

Jen said...

noooooooooooooo! I'm so sorry, I'm just so sorry. This is so unfair. F*ck is right.

Cibele said...

I am so sorry
Hugs

Chas said...

Oh my gosh, honey, I am so very, very sorry. This is SO not what I'd hoped to read. This must be the day for it...my brother and sister in law found out today that they've lost their baby as well...should have been 7 weeks, measuring only 6 w/ no heartbeat. Gosh...so terrible. If you need anything let me know.

bethkyle said...

I am really sorry.

Shelby said...

Not fair! I'm so sorry!

Chris said...

I am so, so sorry that you have to go through this again. My heart breaks for you, and with you.

My_Herstory said...

I'm so sorry.

Honeycutt Family said...

Oh my gosh...this just totally, TOTALLY sucks!!!!!! I hate this! WHY?!?!?! I am so, so, so incredibly sorry. I had such hope for you guys and felt like this was the one. In fact, I checked your blog in the a.m, but then kind of forgot with the busyness of the day and didn't remember until I woke up at 3am with insomnia and assumed all would be well. I just feel so bad. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers...
WHY?!?!?!

Wordgirl said...

I think that 'fuck' is completely appropriate in the face of such news. I think I'd probably be throwing around alot of them...I'm so, so sorry.


Pam

serenity said...

There are times where "fuck" is the best word to convey the feeling. This is most definitely one of them.

I am so sorry for your loss.

xxx

Tina said...

I am so very sorry... I am thinking of you...

And, I think your title is very appropriate. You don't deserve this hand, and it deserves the "fuck" you gave it.

hope said...

i'm so sorry. i hope you get all the tests run that you need and soon. It's such a fight. best wishes.

noswimmers said...

I am So, SOOO sorry. :(
*Hugs*

SaraS-P said...

Fuck, indeed. I have been there, and it is just too easy to say Fuck A LOT.

I am so very sorry.

Mary Boston said...

I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine. I won't even attempt any pep talk. The pep talk was more painful than peoples silence for one of my friends that went through something similar. So I'll keep quiet and pray for your aching heart.

So sorry.

Bea said...

I'm so sorry about your loss.

I do hope the testing comes back all clear - some people are just really, badly unlucky, and I hope that's all it is because luck can change.

Unfortunately won't bring this little one back, though.

Bea

Debby said...

i am so so sorry. i hope that your testing can hapen quickly and you can get some answers soon.

Nearlydawn said...

So sorry you are having to go through this again. I know all too well how hard this is to endure.

One small, tiny silver lining is on your horizon... recurrent miscarriage screenings can hopefully help you figure out what the issue is. For us, that testing was the key to making it over the hump and into a so-far-so-good pregnancy.

I know that doesn't help so much right now, but there is hope. There is something you can do to stop the madness, now that you know this isn't a fluke.

Hang in there...

bethany said...

I just came across your blog, but I'm really sorry to hear that. Just stay strong.

The Barreness said...

oh, suck. so sorry. I just found your blog. Hate to find others in my boat.. hope you find peace this week.
-megan

The Barreness said...

oh, suck. so sorry. I just found your blog. Hate to find others in my boat.. hope you find peace this week.
-megan