Thursday, October 11, 2007

Reminders from Blogland...

I always appreciate the comments from everyone and I'm sure a lot of you must be sick of my constant obsessing and impatience over this whole thing. Although I know many of you relate to many of the feelings I have. But I really want to thank you for reminding me that I am pregnant right now. And I am enjoying it and I thank you for reminding me to be thankful for what I have right at this moment. I just know how it feels when it all comes crashing down and I keep hoping, hoping and praying that all will end well.

What I really want to be doing is shouting it from the roof tops! I'm gonna be a mom! We're gonna have a baby! Isn't it wonderful, isn't it a miracle. I want to tell every single person I meet, I want to talk about it 24-7, what we're going to name the baby. Where the baby will sleep, what the nursery will look like, will I breast feed, is it a boy or girl, is it more than one? Will I come back to work full time, how long will I work for, until 2 weeks before, 3 weeks? So many plans to make and so many people to share our joy with. That's what I want to be doing.

But for now I feel like it is my little secret from the world. I walk around with this silly smile on my face knowing my little secret and just waiting for the moment I can share it. I hope this moment is soon. I want to buy everything, I want to know what I'm having. I am so freaking happy I can barely contain myself and there is no denying this no matter how reserved I try to be about it. There is just this nagging little doubt in the back of my mind that says, don't get too excited, don't get too attached, don't put all your eggs in this basket, just in case. Just in case the worst happens again. But it doesn't matter I already love this baby more than anything. I am already attached and already committed. How can I not be? I am so thankful for these last couple weeks, I feel like all of my dreams are within reach, the finish line is in sight I just need to keep going a few more miles.

So please keep praying for continued success for the little bun and I'll keep trying to be optimistic and positive. And I can never express how thankful I am to all of you for your continued support, I feel like this blog is the only thing keeping me together right now.

4 comments:

Fertilize Me said...

Ah refreshing .. discussion baby plans. Wishing/praying and hoping to bring you to a place mentally that will allow yo to shout it from the rooftops

Honeycutt Family said...

Such a roller coaster ride, isn't it?!?!?!
I'm so happy for you (and I don't even KNOW you in real life) that you get to be on this ride, though, instead of watching from the ground. YAY!
Still hoping, praying, and waiting with you...
Jen

soralis said...

Hang in there! It's truly a bumpy ride.

Sarah said...

sing it, sister! sounds like you're doing a much better job than i ever did of enjoying where you are in this moment. congratulations!!