Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Update and Vent...

Wow! I feel like I haven't written anything in a while, so I hope this doesn't turn into a dump post.

So my daily drug regimen is going well, I am getting into the routine of taking 1500mg metf0rmin a day and got back into the routine of taking my pre-natal faithfully. I have read lots of good about Met if you can get past the side effects. I have to tell physically I was feeling pretty shitty up until last week. I have had worse side effects on the Met than on the Cl0mid. I am severely constipated (sorry, TMI) to the point where I can only go every 3rd day or so, so unlike our friend Jenny from the IF block, I have made metamucil my friend. I was nauseous every day for 3 weeks - geeezz I might as well be pregnant.

So aside from that, things are moving along today is CD23, I am cautiously optimistic about this cycle. Could happen, but likely won't.

I am gearing up for the hell I am about to put myself through with the injections and protocol that come with my first IUI cycle, although some part of me is looking forward to getting started. We are making preparations, we have told only our parents, that we are doing it. I have to call Dr. Phallus on the 16th to get the results of our infectious disease tests and then we can schedule out first IUI prep appointment and I can attend the injection how-to seminar. We have already discussed and decided that Clark can not handle being a part of the injection process and I have to admit being the control freak that I am, I want to do it myself anyway. Do people out there actually want their husbands to do it? Not I, if someone is sticking me with sharp objects, I want it to be me. None of this really warranted much discussion after Clark nearly passed out in the RE's office, obviously, he can't deal with medical settings. I think I am on my own here.

So I probably have one more cycle of the clomid after this and then perhaps the November cycle may be the one, but I guess we will find out when I speak with Dr. Phallus' office.

As usual, I feel like I am livin' in limbo. My true feelings are that I hope I get PG this month or next month and don't have to do the IUI. I have to tell you that it's not that I don't want to do the IUI or that I am scared of the physical aspects, if someone could give me a 90-100% chance of success I would be there doing it today! But the odds just seem so bleak. Everything I have read indicates that IUIs only have a 15-20% chance of success and that seems so low. I feel like I have better odds getting PG on my own. And because the tubal blockages seem to be the biggest obstacle I even wonder why we are doing the IUI, should we just skip it and go straight to IVF? Dr. Phallus seems to think we have a shot with the IUI and said he wouldn't do more than 3. So part of me is thinking we are wasting time and money, but then IVF odds aren't that shit hot either. So maybe I just need to feel like we have exhausted every option and done all that we can do to conceive before I will be able to move on.

So I guess where I am at right now is that I am willing to try anything, but I am not all that convinced we actually have a shot of conceiving no matter what we do, the odds all seem so slim.

I guess I will see.