Thursday, October 30, 2008

Double Digits and a Heartwarming Experience...

Phew! 2 weeks since I posted, so far this first trimester is flying by for my and thank goodness, as I am not a patient person. I couldn't believe when I logged on and saw double digits - 10 weeks, actually almost 11 already. Never thought I would make it this far and am still counting my blessings daily.

Things seem to be motoring along for the most part for me. I feel pretty good really. A little nausea still occasionally and a lot of fatigue, but nothing that's a horrible deal.

And the most exciting news! I had my first midwife appt. on Tuesday (yes midwife, I'll get into that later) and I heard the heartbeat!!! For those of you following my journey you know how utterly important and how much this means to me. I cried, it was the loveliest sound I have ever heard! My 12 week u/s is scheduled for a week from Monday, I am really looking forward to that for the utmost reassurance that all is well with baby bubble.

As for the Midwife, well, I researched a lot of options, where to deliver - my town or the city where to get an OB, which OB, etc. and nothing felt right. Then my friends kept recommending I think about a midwife. So as I am approaching 11 weeks and really needed to make a decision and find someone to get my prenatal blood work and 12 week u/s ordered, I took the plunge and made an appt with our local midwife clinic.

Let me tell you it was a fabulous experience, we met for 2 hours, yes, 2 hours, and that was actually talking to her, not sitting in the waiting room. She asked me a million questions, we talked about delivery, care during the pregnancy, everything. It was a great experience and seeing as how I have not be deemed high risk, I can safely go to the midwife for my care, unless something out of the ordinary arises at which time they will consult with an OB, but let's hope that doesn't happen. The best part is the midwives attend the entire labour and deliver process with you and will even if your care is transferred to an OB later in pg. Oh, and did I mention that you get a pager number for your midwife in case you have questions or something scary happens. Love it.

Anyway, needless to say I feel great about this decision even if it does seem a bit unconventional. But then again what has been conventional about this process so far?? I really want a change of pace from the whole "medical" experience I have had thus far. I am of course delivering in a hospital, I'm not that much of a free spirit.

So that's where I am right now. Things are good.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Quick Update...

Things are still chugging along ok for us. I'm feeling pretty good no real serious morning sickness a little tired, but pretty good.

I have an appt with my family doctor first thing on Monday. Feels weird going back to him after everything I have been through. But I need him to refer me to an ob/gyn in the city, because I do not want the ob I had been seeing before here in my town. Plus I really want to deliver in a bigger city. Our hospital, doesn't have the greatest reputation and i trust them more in the city, it's less than an hour's drive, so I think it will be fine. Plus now that I am only working 4 days a week, I can always schedule my appts for my days off.

I still don't really believe this miracle is happening to me. I thank god every day for this wonderful blessing. I try not be anxious. Although, things still worry me. I know that's normal. I know it's still pretty early in the pg and I definitely appreciate that anything can happen at any time, so I am definitely not taking anything for granted. I am just really trying not to let the worry get the best of me and rob me of the joy I feel.

I will feel better when I get to my doctor in the city and I get a 12 week u/s. A few more weeks of stress and then hopefully I will have some reassurance that all is well with the Little bubble in there.

I swear my waist line is burgeoning, I am a chunky girl to begin with, so no one will notice for quite some time I am sure, but I notice in the way that my pants fit and the hardness of my tummy, already it is uncomfortable to lay on it.

Keep us in your prayers and thanks for all your congratulations and warm support!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

The Happiest Day of My Life...

I will be truly thankful, this Canadian Thanksgiving weekend. We saw a heartbeat!!

OMG! It was the most beautiful and relieving thing I have ever seen. The u/s went perfectly. The little bubble was measuring 7w 3d, and I was 7w 4d, so right on track. The heartbeat was there and the doctor said everything looked great!! Oh and there is only one!!

I would have been fine with twins, but one is great! I am just counting my blessings right now. I am so grateful.

Confirmed dd is may 23!! I am so excited, our family is so excited. We have been released by the clinic and will find a regular ob/gyn next week.

Thanks to all of you for your support and encouragement and keeping us in your prayers. We are truly blessed. I am still nervous for the first trimester to be over so I can move forward to some more stable ground, but I am going to try not to let the worry get the best of me.

It has been a long road for us to get here, over 3 years since we starting trying on our own and I will never take any of this for granted.

I am so happy, I can't even begin to express it!!!

Monday, October 06, 2008

Scary times...

Just a quick post. Nothing new to say. I'm still living in limbo land waiting for the results of this ultrasound. I am scared to say the least, I have no idea which way things will go. But I am trying to remain as positive as I can.

I feel pretty good still and still very different than my unsuccessful pgs, no cramping and just generally feel better. I'm still scared, I keep imaging both outcomes. The warm fuzzy one, where I get to see my baby (ies?) heart beat for the first time and I get to see that little flutter on the screen and Clark and I get to go home and tell out family the joyful news!! I have imagined every little detail, will I be so overwhelmed with joy, will I want to buy out the babies store? I want that outcome so badly.

The other outcome, I don't have to imagine, quite as hard. I have lived it twice before, the blank stares of the doctors, the realization that everything is not ok, and is not going to be ok. The sound of my hopes and dreams shattering. Yeah, I really don't want to go there again.

I'm scared. But only time will tell if this time will be different.