Monday, May 26, 2008

I hate being right...

Got the first signs of my period this morning. Beta is actually on Wednesday, but I have some pretty bright red tinges and still a negative pee-stick. So it's over for this cycle.

Clark and I had a pretty good talk last night. I am just realizing that he is going through this emotional process so much slower than I did. I think it hit him for the first time last night that we really could not be able to have kids. I think he has been feeling all along that there has got to be an answer or a remedy. I think he came to the sad realization that there sometimes isn't an answer for these things.

He is going through the anger and denial phase right now. He keeps asking me isn't there something more we can do or another thing that the docs can test us for. We talked about the ivf, we're ready to do it. We don't really have the money but we can get it, we agreed we would do one cycle and see how that ended up for us. There is no way of knowing what the next step after that will be, will we have any frozen embies or will it work the first time or will it be a complete bust! So we're just going to go at it one step at a time.

My feeling right now is to wait until the summer is over. We have some plans and I want a semblance of a normal life for a few months, plus summer is so super busy for me at work that I would better be able to have some time off in September. But then part of me is saying just do it and get it over with!!!

I need some insight from those of you who have been through ivf, how much disruption to m,y life can I expect. Is is similar to iui, with u/s monitoring and b/w. Do I need to be off work during the time between the ER and the transfer? What part of your cycle is the ER, is it around the middle like ovulation? I feel stupid, I know all the ins and outs of iui and have no clue about the ivf thing. How will the drugs affect me? I need some answers before I can figure out a time frame.

But moving forward. In better news Clark has a job interview tonight, so hopefully he will find something permanent and get off the contract roller coaster.

6 comments:

Honeycutt Family said...

I'm so, so sorry.

Chas said...

I'm so sorry it didn't work out this time.

Answers to your IVF questions:

- IVF can be pretty disruptive, but if you have a good clinic then they should be able to work with you as far as the time of day you need your appointments. I haven't had an IUI, but there is definitely a lot of u/s and blood work with IVF. Of course, once you start the stims they check you often to make sure you're not hyperstimulating.

- After my egg retrievals, I think I was advised to take it easy the rest of the day, but that's it. I wasn't working either time, but I think it would have been safe to go back to work the day after. Hopefully, everything will look great and they'll do a day 5 transfer instead of a 3 day. So, you'll have five days between ER and ET. After ET, my clinic requires that you be a "couch potato" for 72 hours. Of course, they can't MAKE you do anything, but they push it very strongly.

- I don't know if all clinics are the same, but I think most clinics like to do all patients' cycles at the same time, so that they have all the retrievals and transfers for the month withing two or three days of each other. So, it doesn't really matter when you would have normally ovulated....they take control of your cycle with bcp and you stop those whenever it is they've decided they are doing their cycles that month.

- I don't know how the drugs will affect YOU. I've heard different women say different things. Speaking for myself, I've done two fresh cycles, and two FETs....and never did I have a negative reaction to any meds. I felt pretty much like I always do the entire time. I don't tend to over analyze the way I feel though, so maybe that explains it.

I hope this helps!!

Michell said...

So sorry about the negative.
For my IVF it was fairly disruptive but then my docs office could never seem to get me in at the same time. I did maybe 4 ultrasound/bloodwork things. The drugs made me a little witchy but no worse than the injectible cycles. The ER I felt fine. A little tender but no problems, I could have probably worked that same night. It was nice having a couple of days off work after the ET. Good luck whenever you decide to try.

Mel said...

I have no words of wisdom as I am pretty much in the same boat as you myself, but I am definitely sending you hugs and wishing for all the right answers to fall in your lap!! (and if you get any extras, could you send 'em over here?)
*hugs*

Kirsten said...

It's crazy, at the time of my IVF cycle, it was all-comsuming and now I can hardly remember the details. I do remember calculating the fees I paid for parking at my RE's office and was astounded (just added it to the tab though!) But, to me, it didn't seem like much more of an interferrance in my life than the IUI's were. Plus, I was so excited to be taking the big step. The most nerve-wracking part was preparing for the retrival b/c I was so nervous I'd miss "the" moment, and I almost did (see my 12/09/06 entry!).
My retrival was on a Saturday and I was fine for work by Monday.
Oh, and my whole IVF cycle started on November 22 (took first Lupron shot) and I had the retrival on December 11...it moves very fast! I've got the whole story on my blog (Nov-Dec 2006 entries) if you want to check it out :)
Please don't hesitate to ask if you have any questions...I know it can be mind-boggling at first.
Wishing you all the best.

Kirsten said...

It's crazy, at the time of my IVF cycle, it was all-comsuming and now I can hardly remember the details. I do remember calculating the fees I paid for parking at my RE's office and was astounded (just added it to the tab though!) But, to me, it didn't seem like much more of an interferrance in my life than the IUI's were. Plus, I was so excited to be taking the big step. The most nerve-wracking part was preparing for the retrival b/c I was so nervous I'd miss "the" moment, and I almost did (see my 12/09/06 entry!).
My retrival was on a Saturday and I was fine for work by Monday.
Oh, and my whole IVF cycle started on November 22 (took first Lupron shot) and I had the retrival on December 11...it moves very fast! I've got the whole story on my blog (Nov-Dec 2006 entries) if you want to check it out :)
Please don't hesitate to ask if you have any questions...I know it can be mind-boggling at first.
Wishing you all the best.