Monday, February 11, 2008


Well, as expected, my beta was (-) on Sunday. I already knew as the evidence arrived on Saturday afternoon.

So a month off and then a try for March possibly, only problem is I am away for Easter and it will probably be iui time right around there, so I may skip and do April. Or maybe we'll change the Easter plans, we were expecting to be out of the country. We'll see.

No more puppy news as yet, got some pics I'll post later in the week.

Renos are coming along fantastically! I hired someone to finish the drywall and it will be done and ready for paint tomorrow. Can't wait to get that finished and then re-paint the rest of the mainfloor.

I need something to focus on right now, that's for sure. I am so glad we decided to get this puppy, it fills my heart with something new and beautiful right now and I really need that.

I am doing ok with the news of the bfn. I am not 'devastated' I know there is hope for other months. I am just very disappointed. I keep hoping that this is going to work at some point. I know focussing on the positive is the right thing to do right now.

And what I can say about that is this: We have tons of possiblilities, we know we can get pg, we know that the sperm count was pretty good (7.2 mil- washed, best yet) this cycle, we know I produced 2 nice follies, we know that other than the pc.os, there is nothing majorly wrong with either of us. The RE is optimistic another iui will work for us. They are not saying getting pg is impossible or even unlikely, just more difficult than is for some, we just need to keep playing the odds. They are not saying I can't carry to term. They are saying my 2 m/c seem like crappy luck and no medical reason has come to light as yet.

I am really just trying to focus. On the positive. On today, without looking too far into what the future holds for us. On what I have that I love and enjoy right now in my life. On living for the moment. On living the life I have and not the one I yearn for.


Fertilize Me said...

sounds like you are doing your best and that's all tha tcan be expected! Sending you a hug and can't wait to see pup pics!

Chas said...

You have such a great attitude! Keep it up!!

.......................Honeycutt Family said...

I like your ending words, " the life I have and not the one I yearn for." Isn't that always the struggle? I am trying to do the same, girlfriend!

Kirsten said...

I am so glad to read your last sentence...that is soooo true. Through all the ups and downs we had during our IF journey, I thanked God every day for what we DID have.
I cannot wait to see the puppy pictures!!! It's going to be so hard to resist not getting one of my own :)

toybox said...


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