Friday, February 01, 2008

9 dpIUI...

OK, I admit, I wasn't going to tell you all, but I broke down and tested today. I know it's too freakin' early, please don't yell at me!! I saw the pretty, shiny peestick in the drawer this morning and I just couldn't resist.

It was of course negative. Not that I really expected a positive at this stage in the game, but what the hell peeing on something made me feel like I was doing something instead of just sitting around here waiting. I also know that at 9dpiui, it wouldn't have mattered what the pee stick said, I wouldn't have believed it. If it had been positive, I would have just thought the trigger hadn't cleared my system, but since it's negative, I think it's too early. It did however confirm to me that the trigger shot clears far faster than my RE's office would lead one to believe.

I really should have just waited, because now I am kind of doubting if it will be a bfp. I feel really nothing, not that what I feel matters since we all know our friend prog.ester*ne fucks with us during this 2ww anyway. I have some twingy cramps, I'm kind of tired, but not overly, not like I remember being right before I found out I was pg. I don't feel sick, I'm really hungry, my boobs don't hurt. I don't know what to make of all of it.

As you may be able to tell I was fairly calm up until today, caosting throught the first half of the 2ww like a veteran. Sometime last night I started over the edge into the insanity of the 2ww. Somehow I got caught up in it. And now I'm pretty much freakin' out. I just want to know. One way or another. I HATE THIS WAITING!! That was me screaming, since I'm at my desk in an office full of people and can't really do it!

I'm glad the weekend is starting and I'll ahve 2 more days under my belt, when I return to work on Monday. God knows I will probably test again on Monday, that would be 11dpiui. Legally I can test on Thursday and that seems like forever away!!!

Please grant me patience!!!

3 comments:

Chas said...

If testing helps you get through it all, then test away!

Glenna Marshall said...

OH, I hate the mind game of testing!!! I often test WAY too early, knowing full well it would never be positive this early in the game, and then when I see the actual negative, I let it destroy my hope.
Peeing on a stick: it's an ADDICTION, my friend! :)
I hope you get a positive in a few days!!

Fertilize Me said...

0h sending you calm 2 line thoughts - the 2ww is just insanity