Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The Crossroads...

That's what I feel I am upon. I got the call from my RE yesterday, Everything looks good to go ahead for Wednesday. I triggered last night at 10pm.

The trigger shot kind of scared me, but I did mind over matter mode, and got through it. Not feeling too bad yet this morning, so hopefully I will continue on this path.

All of my stuff is emotional. I have some anxiety surrounding all of this. I really am trying not to put all of my eggs, pardon the pun, into this basket. I really hope that this is the magic answer. But if I look deep into my heart of hearts, I know this may not work. Why do I feel filled with so much hope then? The next 18 days are going to be pure torture. I'll ask for sure tomorrow, but I think my beta will likely be October 1st. Seems like a life time away. How the hell do people stay sane through this. I know I have waited out worse. The 2 weeks between u/s when I miscarried was the truest form of hell I can ever imagine. But I know it will be weighing heavily on my mind.

In up beat news, my RL BF is getting induced tomorrow. How ironic that this day will be significant for both of us. She thinks it is a good vibe for both of us. She has been my friend for nearly 20 years and she has really been a rock for me through all of this. Early on in my fertility struggle, I think she didn't fully understand, but now that she is on the brink of welcoming her second child, she sees how important it is to me and knows why. We have been through a lot of ups and downs together and we always seem to be there at the most important times. Praying for an easy time for her tomorrow.

Also in upbeat ironic news, my breeder emailed me today and told me she has a 9 week old boston terrier that needs a home. A girl that is truly a cute as a button. What is this? The universe trying to distract me? Something to give me hope? I want her, but I have a feeling Clark will never agree. I'll mention it to him, we see.


Chas said...

I have wondered many times how people stay sane through this, especially the ones that do it over and over. I don't have the answer. I know just thinking about doing it again makes me ill. Good luck tomorrow!!!

Kirsten said...

Sounds like you are doing great...and I am SO jealous about the Boston!! I want another one SOOO bad but there's no way right now, unfortunately. Let me know how that goes and, of course, everything else. Hope the 2 WW is a quick one for you :)