Well finally! My period arrived in the early hours of this morning. With a vengeance. Actually unlike any period I have ever had, maybe this is a good sign.
I was happy that it came. I knew I wasn't pregnant and I really do want to try to get pregnant again. I don't want to go through the heartache and stress again. But I try to convince myself, I have had an education in miscarriage now and will be a little more prepared the next time.
I was unhappy that it came 2 days before I leave for Veg.as. Hopefully the intensity with which it arrived will simmer down by Saturday. Mega cramps and flow! Is this how normal people have periods? Mine is normally a few days, mostly pantyliners and over. This is nuts!
So I scheduled my next acupuncture. I am still determined to give the natural healing a go for a while. I might look as re-scheduling with my RE toward the end of the summer. But I want to believe the millions (ok it just feels like everyone who knows I miscarried has said this to me) of people who have told me 'at least you know you can get pregnant'. So maybe I really can get pregnant again on my own. If this period is any indication of what my lining looks like, woo-hoo!
So I just have to say it again. Maybe I can get pregnant on my own again. I know for all of us in IF land, this seems like a silly notion. What people get pregnant with out drugs and vag wandings and iui, at least? Is this even possible? Well I know a few of us out there have made it possible and I am here to tell you that I did. Now mind you, I didn't carry to term, but let's deal with one hurdle at a time. I am back to the let's just try to get that little sucker to take, then we'll deal with how to keep them in there! I know it's a long shot, but I'm willing, at this point to forgo any intervention, and invest a few more months in giving it a try on our own. Hell, it's been 18 months, what's a few more!
So on a non-IF note (do I ever talk about anything else, because it seems like I never think about anything else), I'm off to Ve.gas on Friday, as un-pregnant as they come! So it's a week of boozing and fun for me! And that's exactly what I plan to do.
For those of you paying attention, the spa weekend was heavenly, the perfect prelude to my trip!
I'll see y'all in a week or so, probably fatter, drunker and a little bitchier (a week with Clark's family may do that to me).