Friday, December 15, 2006

Yet another post.

I keep watching my baby ticker at the bottom, each day I see another day pass and I cross off yet another day that I am still filled with hope.

Re-reading Inglewood's comments about her PG. Congrats to her, btw! And realize things are different for those of us who are infertile and pg. We see the whole process so differently. Filled with more fear. I ordered the Fearless Pregnancy book yesterday, thought it might give me some reassurance.

I also took heed from Inglewood's advice to enjoy the moment, I have not let Clark tell anyone except our immediate families for the fear of having to untell them. But so WHAT! I need to embrace this pg. And be positive, because no matter what happens Monday or on Jan 5th, right now, I AM PREGNANT! And I really do want to shout it from the roof tops.

I have waited so long for this, through a failed marriage to a man who should not have children, (before I knew I was sub-fertile), to finding and marrying the man of my dreams to ttc for 17 cycles.

So in a leap of blind faith - I bought Clark a book called 'The Expectant Father' and I am going to wrap it up and give it too him for Christmas. I heard your collective "ahhhhh". But I am not going to play it safe. I am going to walk on the wild side and continue forward like I'm having a baby in August!

So on that note, I think I should begin a weekly list of 10 things I am grateful for. So here's this weeks:

1. My wonderful, understanding, optimistic, reassuring, loving husband.
2. Our stability in our financial situation, not rich, but not in need.
3. My mother and my mother-in-laws. Three awesomely supportive women, this baby will have the best Grandmas ever.
4. The most understanding boss in the world, who I happened to be blessed with and is a graduated infertile herself.
5. My friends, particularly my BFF, with out whom, I could not get through some things.
6. Our family, all whom love and support all that Clark and I do. And who already love this baby as much as we do.
7. A job I love and allows me time to mentally recharge, when I am going off the deep end.
8. My health, my baby's health, a continued healthy pregnancy.
9. My furbaby, god love her, she is the most entertaining and loving little girl pup ever, and although she is a pain at times, her love for us is so ultimately unconditional.
10. This baby. Need I say more here, I am so, so, so grateful for this baby and the opportunity to parent and bring a new life to the world and our family.

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