Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Cycle Day 2

I really don't need to say more, but I will.

I am upset. I really, really (as indicated in my previous posts)wanted it to be this month. But alas, no.

I kind of hate myself and my emotional, hormonally challenged, reproductively retarded body right now. I verge on tears hourly. I had a minor tiff with Clark last night, and still really haven't spoken to him. I know that the hormonal state I'm in doesn't help. I really felt distant from him last night though, which is unusual for us.

On the upside, I got my RE referral and I have an appointment on September 21. Woo-hoo. I am doing another round of 150mg of Clomid this month and adding to it 1000mg of Metformin. We'll see.

Can't blame me for my skepticism. Getting harder to believe it will happen. I need to move away from the feelings again for a while. I can't think. Too painful. I can't hope, too hard.

I want another puppy, if I can't have a baby, I can at least have another dog. Maybe this is what my life is. Maybe this is what my life will be.

Maybes and what ifs, where did they ever get anybody.

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