As indicated in the 'About Me' sidebar, I am (very) quickly approaching my 30th Birthday, which I was not so upset about until I discovered that the whole concept of having my first baby before I turned 30, was not going to be the piece of cake I assumed it would be.
So my adventures in Baby-Making really began in August 2005. My dear Husband, Clark and I decided it was time to go off the pill, we had been married about 6 months and were ready to take those fist wobbly steps towards adding a little person to our family. I, of course, had no concerns, all of my girlfriends had children (mostly by accident), so I mean how hard could it be. I saw my Gynocolgist that month for my yearly exam, everything appeared OK and I told her we were jumping on the Baby Train. Dr. Optimistic said good luck and scheduled me another appointment for the first week in December, telling me to reschedule if I found out I was pregnant before then. I remember thinking to myself 'I'll be pregnant by Christmas'.
So the following few months passed, October became November and December arrived. By now I was a little disheartened and a bit surprised, but Clark and I both agreed sometimes these things just take a little time. I went to see Dr. Optimistic, who was also a little surprised, but agreed 4 months was nothing. Just to be sure, she sent me to have some hormone levels checked and asked Clark to submit a sample for a Semen Analysis. She wanted me back in 3 months and said to talk to Clark about maybe starting me on a Fertility drug called Clomid then. She also suggested using an ovulation predictor test (OPT) to narrow down my fertile time.
The end of February, I was back at Dr. Optimistic's office. By now I was concerned, something must be wrong, I never got a positive reading on any of the OPTs I took and tried charting my temperature, but it was all over the place and just made me more crazy. I had researched all I could find about Clomid and it seemed a good option. I had made up my mind that we would get me ovulating regularly and that would be it!! I arrived at Dr. O's and she presented me with the test results she had. All bad... It appeared from my progesterone levels, I was not in fact ovulating and to add insult to injury, Clark's results were not good either. Low count, low motility. Blah, blah, blah!! I shut down mentally right then, she talked about IUI possibilities, still putting me on the clomid, having Clark retested. I heard nothing, except the resounding WTF in my head!! She gave me the prescription for Clomid, for 3 months, the requistions for more tests for both of us and I stumbled out to my car.
I did manage to not cry until the car door shut and then the flood gates opened, right there in the parking lot. I lost it, how the F&^K could this be happening. I went throught the bitterness, the anger, all of it, I was pissed. But I pulled myself together and went to get my prescription filled.
I go through the highs and lows everyday in dealing with this TTC BS and some days are better than others, as I'm sure you will all come to discover and as many of you fellow infertiles know. As for where I am now, middle of clomid cycle number 2 and awaiting my referral to an Reproductive Endrocrinologist. Yup, still no luck, but boy can I pee on a stick with amazing accuracy, and Clark now knows how to read the results of an OPT, something I'm sure he always wanted to know.
Please continue to read and I'll keep you posted on my sometimes frustrating journey.
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